


The Darcy Recruitment Stratagem

by ppyajunebug



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Middleman (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-22 01:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1570280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ppyajunebug/pseuds/ppyajunebug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is Ida with the Jolly Fats Wehawkin Temp Agency calling for Darcy Lewis.  We're interested in assessing her for one of our temporary positions.  If she decides to take a break from the pipe and show up, she can find us the following address.."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Chronicle Commencement

**Author's Note:**

> This is a weird little plot that came into my head. I'm still not 100% sure where it's going, so feedback and suggestions are welcome and appreciated! I'm excited to be a part of Darcyland!

Darcy Lewis collapsed on her sunken, threadbare futon. She was exhausted, she had a bad case of underboob sweat, and she was still unemployed.

It had been a month since SHIELD had imploded and her life had gone down the shitter. Just four weeks ago, she’d been helping Jane set up her new lab at SHIELD HQ in New York, finally receiving an actual paycheck and looking forward to trying to worm her way into a more permanent position.

And now here she was- jobless, with a single reference that was so vague that no one even wanted to consider taking a chance on her. Stupid Homeland Security with its stupid confidentiality protocols. Apparently “ability to tase a Norse God on sight” was a skill that was not for public knowledge

As she lay on the futon trying to cool herself down to a normal human temperature, her phone buzzed. She flopped around lazily until she managed to make contact with it. “Message from: Jane” glowed on the screen.

_The lab number had a weird message on it for you. Some temp agency- Jolly Fats Wee-something? Let me know if you want the address._

Darcy sat up straight. She’d never heard of a temp agency with a name even close to that, but she wasn’t feeling choosy right now. If they wanted to pay her minimum wage, she was their gal. 

~

The address Jane sent her was a nondescript warehouse in the middle of Brooklyn. There wasn’t any kind of sign outside to label it as the Jolly Fats Wehawkin Temp Agency, but Darcy wasn’t inclined to stand outside all day waiting for an invitation. She pushed open the door and found herself in a plain reception area.

“Close the door, or I’ll close it on you” barked a harsh Midwestern accent. The woman at the reception desk was straight out of a fifties sitcom. Cat-eye glasses? Check. Ugly floral dress? Check. Steel grey hair and an attitude to match? Check and check. Darcy approached and swung her bag onto the desk.

“I’m Darcy Lewis. I believe you left a phone call seeking my services?” The schoolmarm narrowed her eyes.

“I don’t know what kind of place you think this is, but if you’re looking for that kind of work you can march your little behind right on out of here and down to the massage parlor on the corner”. Darcy had just opened her mouth to respond when someone else interrupted her.

“Well Ida, looks like she’s not the pot-smoker you thought she’d be.” The woman who emerged from some back room was Latina, taller than Darcy (not that that was hard) and dressed in stylish suit vest combo. Ida did not look happy to see her. 

“It’s bad enough dealing with your Mary Jane habit. Now I gotta deal with this one and her…” Ida’s mouth slammed shut and she was cut off mid rant. The other woman smiled and waved a remote control.

“Knew this thing would come in handy. I try not to use it too often because Ida will refuse to do anything I ask her to for a week after, but it’s better than letting her run you off before you’ve been here five minutes.” Darcy stared at the remote.

“Does Stark know you’ve got that thing? Because if not, I bet he’d be real happy to take a look. It could make you a ton of money.” The woman laughed.

“It’s not as useful as you might think. Ida’s not exactly human- she’s an android of unknown origin.” Darcy walked around the desk to take a closer look. There’d be no way to tell that Ida wasn’t exactly the Midwestern hausfrau she appeared to be. 

“Sweet. Where’d you find her?”

“She was…inherited. Why don’t you follow me and we’ll talk.” Darcy shouldered her bag and followed the woman into the shadowy depths of the warehouse. They walked for what seemed like an absurd amount of time before the lights flickered on and Darcy could see where she stood.

The warehouse was filled with tech, even more than she’d ever seen working with Jane. There were monitors everywhere, spinning gadgets on tables, beeping machines lining the walls, and a large console dominating the center of the room. Darcy’s mouth dropped open.

“What the hell is this? Are you with SHIELD? Who are you?” The woman smiled.

“This is O2STK. We’re not with SHIELD, although we used to work in tandem with them. And you can call me The Middleman.”


	2. The Secondary Screed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sands of Zanzibar! Thanks for the kind comments! I'm still making this up as I go, but I'll try to post a chapter (short as they may end up being) every week. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy the new chapter!

Darcy’s lips quirked up in a half smile. “Don’t you mean Middlewoman?” The other woman smiled.

“Honestly,” she admitted, “I don’t know what I am. I think, technically, I’m still an apprentice. I was trying to be enigmatic and mysterious like my boss, but I don’t think it sits so well on me. For now, just call me Wendy.”

“You have a boss? Shouldn’t I be talking to him then? Or are you the pre-interview?” Wendy’s face dropped.

“No…I mean, yes you should be talking to him. But he’s not here. He hasn’t been here for a while. That’s why we called you. I need some help.” Darcy was puzzled.

“Help with what? I don’t even know what it is you people do. You’ve got a warehouse full of gadgets and an android receptionist. I may not have graduated with a stellar GPA, but even I can tell that the last thing you need is a poli sci major with no marketable skills.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say no skills. I hear you’re pretty handy with a taser. And you stay pretty calm in the face of the unexplainably weird. Which is what we deal with around here. “ Wendy pulled a file folder out of a stack and handed it to Darcy. In it were newspaper clippings about Jane, situation reports about Thor’s various Earth exploits, requisition memos from her brief time at SHIELD, and an uncensored version of her resume. Darcy looked up, her head spinning.

“You sure you want me? There are hundreds of unemployed SHIELD agents, all of whom are in better shape and are more used to this kind of shit than I am.” Wendy grinned.

“That’s exactly why we want you. Being the Middleman requires more creativity than your average SHIELD agent. Most of them are used to following orders, and the ones that weren’t are needed where they are right now. You have a talent for unconventional solutions to unconventional problems. And we have a lot of problems to deal with right now. We used to handle the small-time mad scientists and alien invasions that SHIELD didn’t want to waste time and bureaucracy on. But since the incidents in DC…” Wendy trailed off, looking at Darcy hopefully. “There’s a lot more on my plate and I can’t do it alone anymore.” 

“What about the Midwestern Cylon in reception? And your boss? Don’t get me wrong- I’m desperate for employment. I just never imagined myself as crime-fighting material. I’m more of a getting-coffee and wrangling-scientists kind of girl.” Wendy sighed, and sat down in an uncomfortable looking chair. She motioned for Darcy to do the same.

“The Middleman went missing a month ago, just before the whole HYDRA-is-SHIELD thing happened. He was following up on a lead during my night off and just never came back. Ida’s been monitoring every kind of communication there is and there’s absolutely nothing. We have no idea where he went, or why, or who he went to see. And while Ida may be great at searching the entire Internet in an hour or less, I think you can attest to her lack of people skills. She’s only gotten worse since she discovered Twitter. She can’t even look at anyone under the age of 45 without insulting them immediately. You are smart, funny and can interact semi-normally with other people. More importantly, you’ve met gods and aliens and work with mad scientists. You have insight I can’t get from anyone else, and you have a sense of humor. Now do you want the damn job or not?”

Darcy considered Wendy for a long second, considering. She was unemployed and fairly desperate, but she was also incredibly out of shape and likely to knock herself out with her own boobs if she had to run anywhere. But then again, she couldn’t deny the fact that fighting the forces of evil sounded way more interesting than endless hours of data analysis…

Darcy broke out a wide grin and stuck her hand out. “You’ve got a deal, Middlewoman. Where do we start?”


End file.
